• Sherri Phibbs

Bridging Death's Divide

We've all experienced loss.

We've all likely wondered what happens when we die. Is there heaven? Do we reincarnate? Or is this all there is? One of my favourite aunts passed away today, and I am overcome.

Maybe this is not the best time to be writing, but it is pouring out of me from deep inside. I drummed today. The Song poured out of me as well. The rhythm seemed to call to her spirit, to wrap around her and encourage her to move on. To go to God, to the Light. It called for assistance to carry her "over" ... to know that the heartbeat song of the drum reflects the heartbeat of love welling up from the Divine Spark within my own spirit. We are one in this moment, my aunt, the Divine and I; and love surrounds us in this moment of my life.

But ... what is this life? This fragile, physical bubble?

The singing to my aunt's soul, was an instinctive action. Not one I've ever in my life done before, yet it seemed to explode out of the depths of my being, a deep knowing, a rightness. This was something that needed doing. It is my personal understanding that this singing to the soul assists with the transition. For my aunt, anything I can do, no matter how foolish or strange it may make me feel, to help her on her journey, I will do.

I have become a death doula for you, Aunt Cee, don't laugh.

It is my understanding that there is a Buddhist tradition about dying. That when we die, we should focus all our thoughts and energy on going to that light at the end of the tunnel. That only there will we be saved from returning in another incarnation. Now I know, Aunt Cee, heaven is the light at the end of your tunnel, and I wonder if our individual human beliefs define where we go, but I believe there is Love, regardless of what beliefs describe it here in this physical world.

If we are energies, souls or spirits - partially housed in a physical, human body, as I also believe... is our life, then, only partially real? Like a video game where you are only truly "alive" outside the framework, the matrix; but while in it, it is all-consuming? When we die in the game, do we "awake" to reality. Emerging back into the Light? To the welcoming arms of those watching the play? And what about reincarnation? Is reincarnation just another foray into another avatar when we choose to play the "humanity" game again? Do we choose? Or does it happen on it's own? At all?

Have you ever heard of the Akashic Records? I hadn't, not really. Until recently. Apparently, this is a term that came through Edgar Cayce, a healer from the mid 1900's. It is a term that describes all that is the experience of each soul. From my understanding, an ever-updating library or database. Of the existence of the soul. I'm talking about past lives here. Not something I had truly entertained as anything other than an interesting story someone told. Until recently.

Through personal experience, and some very weird happenings, then confirmed through research, thank you Google, I've come to the belief that there truly are past lives. This is life altering information for me. I am once again questioning all I have been taught.

Is life a learning experience, where a self-aware universe examines existence through the differing aspects of myriad individuals in a "physical" reality, like a fidget spinner for endless, eternal boredom? Or are our lives a sound, a song, that vibrates through everything with a wealth of human emotion? Do we sing life into existence? Does rhythm carry us out of it? Are we entertainment? Or an outpouring of glorious meaning, a joie de vivre, an exuberance of life that transcends all things birthing a soulful vibrancy into all that is?

That last sounds so lovely; yet, is any human life without pain, hurt or harm caused? Is any without love or joy, in some form? We are beings that cause and bring both ends of that emotional spectrum into being, even if only on a small, personal scale, the energies held in those feelings vibrate out from us. We are carriers of love, and pain. Of joy, and hurt. Of grief, and acceptance. Life, and death.

This is who we are, and philosophically, it begs the question... why are we here at all? What do we bring to the table as a whole? As individuals?

My aunt brought me a sense of acceptance and belonging. Family ties and humour. Connection. I can only feel, that like all energy, the energy of our spirit or soul continues on, part of a natural cycle. Whether the soul awakens to the Light, Heaven, or continues on in a vast cycle that the human mind is incapable of understanding at this stage, is truly irrelevant. In my experience of your life, Aunt Cee, there was love, and it bridges this new divide. That is all that matters.


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Cochrane, Alberta, Canada